i never thought that i would leave this city
i thought for sure it had earned recognition as my home
and i still believe
that it has.

it's made me misty with aspirations
for myself
for others
for us all.

it's also struck me with the pain that comes along
with wanting nothing more
than to heal.
and believe me,
healing is not all comforting.
like a wound scabbing over,
it too itches and and hardens
til one day it is sealed with a shiny pink layer
of new skin.

much like my knee,
but even that too still aches
on the occasion.

i am attached to many a thing a place a people
this city
and all who reside within my close comforts.

i am essentially holding hands with this city
and everything i deem it to be.
by leaving,
i will be letting go
not one finger at a time
as two individuals parting ways with the final light touch of the tips of the fingers
but more so
like two who hold closely for some time
before finally releasing the close grip
knowing
that though the goodbye is not forever
it is still a lapse in the vague realm of time.

i will return
to this home of mine.
to this city of subways with trains that have taken me everywhere
with one single swipe of that Metro Card.
that same Metro Card that I will use
to take the train to the station
to catch that faithful Bieber bus.

it's not goodbye, New York.
it's just til the next swipe
of that Metro Card.