Haven't been here in a while.

Not writing much lately. Not even journaling really. Which is kind of terrible. Because it means I have a bunch of words inside of me waiting to spill out onto pages and pages and into the air. and here.

I've been thinking myself sober. or drunk. Depending how you want to look at it. Thinking about this and what, where I am going, where I've been, where I need not treck, and where I want to be.

It's crazy where I am at right now-tip toeing along this verge of blissful happiness of self. I see it, I am close, but I am still not there. I can actually pin-point a place in time where I would like to be again. Or not be again. But bring that time to the present and make it now. But how?

There are so many elements that make up our life. Little pieces to a puzzle. A puzzle whose picture we can't even see for ourselves.

And there are so many patterns we find ourselves in. Comfort zones of sorts. Patterns we travel in with hope that in following, we will find whatever it is we are so desperatly searching for. Sometimes the pattern and travel suits us right. Yet other times we take that same pattern and course and time after time after time it serves us no healthy purpose. It takes us to the same place. A place we may not want to to be in, but find ourselves in nonetheless.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere really.

But I can't help but to keep asking myself if I altered one part of an equation that I am afraid to change, would I maybe get the answer I have been looking for? Plugging in the same variables doesn't give you different results.

This perhaps made no sense. Jibberish. What can I do?

On a lighter note, I am willing to openly admit that on my run through Bushwick today I totally wiped out because my sneaks' laces were far too long and got in the way of my feet and pulled me down as if to tell me I shouldn't have been running to begin with. I now have a bruised knee (yes, on my already healing knee) as well as a bruised elbow.

What's the lesson to be learned?...tripple knot your laces.......or.....yea.